Added: Alessandro Baccus - Date: 09.02.2022 07:44 - Views: 41568 - Clicks: 6325
By Maureen Rice. Updated: BST, 7 September Are men or women more likely to cheat? While men have always had a worse reputation for being unfaithful, recent studies show that women are catching up fast - but we are a lot more likely to lie about it, and a lot less likely to get caught. The news that Farrah Fawcett had a secret affair for 11 years without telling a soul is a classic example of the way a woman cheats: discreetly, in secret, and while carrying on with the rest of her life as normal.
Cheating housewife: Eva Longoria played a woman who had an affair with her gardener, played by Jesse Metcalfe, in Desperate Housewives. It has been met with hot denials by Ryan O'Neal, but - and I'm sorry to break it to you this way, Ryan - you'd be the last to know.
According to Dr David Holmes, a psychologist at Manchester Metropolitan University, women are having more affairs than ever - recent studies say the figure is around 20 per cent for men and a bit over 15 per cent for women - but they behave very differently from men when they cheat.
That's a lot of women keeping a lot of secrets. One woman I know - let's call her Juliet - has been married to Adrian for ten years, and having an affair with Mark for the past two. She has told me and her sister - otherwise, she says, she's ' per cent certain' that nobody else knows.
Mobiles and leave a trail. I insist we talk on our office landlines, and when we meet for drinks or dinner, we pay with cash. If we meet in the evening, I tell Adrian I'm with my sister, and meet Mark a few miles away, where we won't bump into anyone. Does she feel guilty about the affair? You know the 11th commandment: don't get caught. Jobs outside the home - with the ready-made excuse of working late or business travel - financial independence and changing social attitudes mean that modern women simply have more opportunity to meet other men and start affairs.
Mobile phones, internet chat rooms and also make it easier to fuel intimate encounters. But while women's lives and sexual behaviour might have changed, their willingness to be honest about it hasn't. The truth is that we have always lied about our sex lives. British men consistently claim to have had more partners than women - the current average is 13, while women claim to have had only nine. Plainly, someone is lying here. While men might exaggerate their sexual conquests, the bigger liars are women.
When studies about sexual partners or fidelity use a mixture of face-to-face interviews and anonymous computer questionnaires, men will give the same answers to both, but women will report much higher s when the answers are anonymous. Why do women lie? Because we must, and because we can.
In spite of apparent equality and a more sexually open society, we are still more harshly judged for our sex lives than men. Can you imagine a leading female politician having an affair and her husband standing loyally by her? There is something particularly humiliating for a man about being made a cuckold. So we lie to protect ourselves from the judgments of others, and because sexual 'reputation' still matters more to women, whether we like it or not. But we also lie naturally and instinctively, as a way to manage and control our relationships, to protect our partners and our families, and to keep our options open.
In fact, we lie so much and for so many reasons that often we don't even think of it as lying at all, but as 'relationship management'. Women are taught to lie from childhood. Those simple, altruistic lies such as saying we've had a lovely time when we haven't, that someone looks nice when she doesn't, or that we're delighted with a gift we don't really like, are just some of the small ways that lying oils the wheels of our social lives, keeps the peace, and makes other people happy.
Girls will lie to protect someone's feelings or to build a relationship. Honesty, in these circumstances, looks highly overrated, and we quickly learn the value and power of being economical with the truth in relationships. Many women also develop a habit of secrecy about smaller issues in their relationship as a way of maintaining some kind of control.
It's common, for example, for women to lie to their partners about how much money they have spent - even when they don't need to. It's not just a question of avoiding the inevitable row over the 'worth it' factor of a pair of killer heels, but of holding something back in order to maintain a sense of emotional independence, and to balance out the power we might feel our partner has in other aspects of the relationship. A recent survey by a leading building society also found that women are much more likely than men to have a 'secret' with money their partner knows nothing about. I believed in total honesty.
Why explain yourself over every little thing? Why have a huge row over something he needn't even know about? I never tell him about my girlfriends' secrets, because he'd be judgmental and disapproving. If he doesn't know, he doesn't miss it. But it's easy to see how a climate of withholding and keeping smaller secrets can easily lead to bigger ones. From a young age, he says, women will start to consider the kind of life they want, what kind of job or house they aspire to, how many children they'd like and what kind of partner.
They live, psychologically, in the moment, while women think around corners and two steps ahead. Hillary stood by Bill Clinton when he had an affair, if it had been the other way around, would he have done the same? We're also better at mental multi-tasking. Men lie, too, but they are much more likely to forget something, or make a mistake and get caught out. They will also be bursting to tell someone about it.
They will often want to brag about it, or be so taken up by the sexual thrill of the affair that their behaviour is a giveaway. Women, on the other hand, are much more cool and rational, even when they're in the grip of passion. They may confide in one or two very close women friends, but they compartmentalise their emotional lives and don't let the affair bleed into the rest of their lives.
Like Farrah Fawcett, a former colleague of mine, Susan, now 50, had a long-term affair with Brian, a salesman she met, ironically enough, when she was buying her husband a car as a surprise 40th birthday present. Brian kept me sane during some of the tougher years of my marriage, but he was strictly for snatched afternoons off and the odd "working weekend" away,' she says.
Susan adds: 'We made each other laugh and our sex life was wonderful. But Brian was a permanent "man-child" - a great lover, but not the kind of man you'd marry. I never wanted to live with him. Cheating is never pretty, but lying about it doesn't necessarily make it worse. Often, our lies are meant to shield our partners and families from pain.
We tell ourselves that if nobody knows, nobody gets hurt. Dr Holmes says: 'Often, women keep the secret because they're much more conscious of how much there is to lose, and to protect the other people involved. If she has children, she'll be especially careful that they aren't hurt in any way by the knowledge of what she's doing. Like my friend Juliet, who has become so good at lying to her husband that she surprises even herself. He doesn't deserve to be hurt, and I have no intention of letting my son grow up without his father. In purely evolutionary terms, men are programmed to sleep with lots of women, and women are programmed to attract and retain a quality mate.
Dr Holmes adds: 'She will be very canny and keep her options open until she decides which of the men she is going to choose. Another reason women lie more about their affairs is simply that they can get away with it. Historically, a man has put a higher value on the fidelity of his woman because he needs to be sure that any children she has are really his. This seems to produce a strange kind of emotional blindness in many men, once they've selected a partner to settle down with. In other words, men want to think women don't cheat, and women want men to think they don't cheat.
We lie so much that often we don't even think of it as lying at all, but as 'relationship management'. Behind closed doors: Working women have more opportunities to have affairs. Share this article Share. Women are better liars because they're more psychologically sophisticated. If you asked unfaithful men if they think their wives or girlfriends have had affairs, too, they will be shocked at the very thought.
Share or comment on this article: Think men are the unfaithful sex? Comments Share what you think. View all. Bing Site Web Enter search term: Search. Jackson and L. Bella Hadid stuns at the Annette premiere as she s Jessica Chastain, Marion Cotillard and Helen Mirren at the film festival's first red carpet Demi Lovato shares a laugh on night out with friends after holding hands with Noah Cyrus amid dating rumours Keanu Reeves, 56, looks suave in a dark grey suit as he films new eerie night time scenes for John Wick 4 in Berlin Cardi B shares how she HID her pregnancy by concealing her bump despite posing in a skintight bodysuit - after revealing she's expecting her second child New couple alert?
Love Island's Arabella Chi gets cosy with Tom Zanetti during night out in Ibiza a month after the DJ's split from MIC's Sophie Hermann Pregnant Cardi B showcases her growing baby bump in tie-dye mini dress before sticking her tongue out as she grabs dinner at BOA Steakhouse Laura Anderson wears red satin mini dress as she sits on beau Dane Bowers' knee for date night in Dubai after talking about their baby plans Karen Gillan is ready for action as she and lookalike stunt double Aurelia Agel match in identical costumes on set of Gunpowder Milkshake Bet you wish you were at Wembley!Woman for discreet sex Marvel Colorado
email: [email protected] - phone:(319) 955-3046 x 7209
Portrayal of women in American comics