Why is it so hard to find decent friends

Added: Kue Vargas - Date: 15.11.2021 16:27 - Views: 37797 - Clicks: 4924

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere. Read full profile. Did you know that the lonelier the person is, the more they tend to only notice extroverted people who have a great time with friends? At the same time, most friendships are superficial. People can hang out with others just to avoid being alone. If you got hurt by friends in the past, you might think that friendship is risky. What you may have missed is that these scars are lessons. They are new tricks under your belt. Bad friendship experiences are als and new skills that allow you to filter people better.

Your social skills may be dormant or you may never developed them as you could have. You need new habits that are easy to implement gradually, and a set of great social skills and techniques to use. Fear of rejection is also a big block. It can be anything: they must be busy, they may not be ready for new friends, they may have been hurt lately, etc.

It can be anything, so never take a guess that may only discourage you. Revealing who you are and your secrets is a key part of making friends. People are used to having others talking about generalities at first. If you get good at that, you can wait and get to know people before revealing yourself gradually.

At the same time, never think that people are that well-adjusted and perfect. This is another common reason why people stay isolated. The ability to bring other people in your life and have them on your side is more powerful. Power means that you choose who you hang out with. All you need is a set of strategic techniques that will allow you to new habits that automatically bring new people to your life. The new social habits work best if you subscribe to a club, or commit to helping out an organization that holds regular social get together.

Peak-Performance Leadership Consultant Read full profile. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting. Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

It starts with intentional listening and being present. There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.

Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, ? But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, , this date probably holds some sort of ificance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life. Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations.

Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively. Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to. Body language can play a ificant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand.

And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something. These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in.

The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these als to improve your listening skills and your communication skills. Our brains were deed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters.

So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting. Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? How should I interpret their words and body language? Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language.

Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication. This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their s.

They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track. Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption. Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action. Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life.

If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills. Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash. Communication Advertising. Paul Sanders A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere. Share Pin it Tweet Share .

You Think that Everyone Else is Already in a Closed Group of Friends Did you know that the lonelier the person is, the more they tend to only notice extroverted people who have a great time with friends? More by this author Paul Sanders A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere. Read Next. NCBI: Body language in the brain: constructing meaning from expressive movement.

Why is it so hard to find decent friends

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