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I really don't sit back and act like I'm hopeless or helpless. It has taken an enormous effort to get him to stay elsewhere, truly. I never indicated that I'm done. My only point to a lot of this stuff was that everyone things the answer to these things are just leave or just change the locks.
I get him out of my life, and I keep my house doing it. He does get arrested when he breaks the restraining order, but they only hold him for one day. It does no good. I get better by having him believe I'm the innocent in the situation not the one who ed the cops or wanted it. He believes that the judge refused my request to drop the restraining order I didn't request it. I wasn't actually asking anyone for help with this problem. I was asking for feedback only on whether I was over-reacting to the e-mail's, which really don't even hurt emotionally. I wish he would meet someone. I use things like that to justify to him why he and I are over and he should move on.
But I have to watch my reactions or he won't bite. Yes I'm angry about it, but I don't want to stay faithful at this point. I wanted to make sure that my reaction wasn't overkill. This way of working him, has been working. Slow maybe, but much less bloody.
Their visceral, fever-pitch writing can be categorized as genius. But their ends were very different. Faludi was criticized for saying too much about Firestone, but is that not the role of the obituary writer? Alas, Firestone did both. Some I have known well, others I have only known through their work.
I was shocked by both her death and the manner of it. The last or six obituaries I have written were of men and women who had died in their 80s—full lives lived. Her life stopped, rather than ended. Not all of us get that full life we all for. I have never read a more revolutionary book. Feminism, when it truly achieves its goals, crack through the most basic structures of our society.
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